Jon & Katie's Web Pages

"You should rather be grateful for the weeds you have in your mind, because eventually they will enrich your practice."--Shunryu Suzuki Roshi, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind

Jon & Katie's Web Pages are the loving labor of Jon, a gay 58-year-old born-again Buddhist-influenced atheist, and his loyal 13-year-old tortoiseshell-with-white cat, Katie, who write from Kansas City of the mundane but fascinating tedium of daily existence. After about three months of work, Jon and his cat Katie are coming into stride. We like Jon's diary for it's clean presentation and navigability. Jon's entries are full of various tidbits of insight, and are usually about the humor that you can find within the minutiae of the ordinary. "Big flock of crows, Hitchcockian sound, approaching! I love crows and every bird except maybe those loud blue jays, who also eat other birds' eggs, I suspect. But then I eat birds' eggs, too, and sometimes I get loud. And blue."

Jon describes his religious leanings often; "I don't think of myself as Buddhist any more because (1) I am so appalled by all organized religion, including Buddhism; (2) I don't think I'm nicey-nice enough to apply a religious label to myself... I wonder if the Buddha would pull his hair as much as Jesus undoubtedly would, seeing what's been made of his words and beliefs and admonitions. Perhaps the best definition of enlightenment is: Knowing that there is no such thing as enlightenment."

There are also plenty of photos, usually one to two per entry; the entries are scrolling pages containing about two to three days of diary entries. Some of the photos are so-so, some are pretty striking. Jon carries around a digital camera, and will come home at night to embed photos of what he has seen in synch with his commentaries about it. All in all, a pretty good read.

Midas's Hair Dresser

Here's a striking journal (appearance wise) with quite a clever name as well. Midas is a the diary of a 27-year-old lesbian grad student in a long term relationship. "This is the first step along the path" -- seems that July 1, 1998 is the first entry. It's entitled "Sex." Here's a snippet from the first entry:

"Specifically last night we were talking about her touching my breasts... We finally came to some kind of agreement but of course we both got pissed off. Times like last night make me feel like giving it all up."

What a way to start off an online journal! Bam! Pow! Bash! (Sound of fireworks in the background.)

Want something in common already? How's this? Both Jon and Angela are semi-Buddhist. Pretty coincidental, considering these are the first two of the writers that we've profiled. Angela likes to meditate, "to make the world a freaking better place... sing with friends, [but don't do it often] and see movies (I'm addicted)."

In addition, most journalers have a why section, explaining 'why' they've bothered to keep up with the work of posting a journal, as well as to justify the possible problems they might encounter with revealing their lives in electric print. Why do you do keep one? Do you?

According to Angela, "On March 16, 1998, one of my best friends in the world was murdered. I really felt the need to put down on paper my thoughts and feelings during this time, thinking that as time passes I can look back and make sense of it all. Perhaps what I am going through can give some hope and wisdom to another person that has lost a loved one. There are some days when nothing seems to help, but other days when I can see that we are all going to be just fine."

Most of the material in Media deals with sex, friendship, math (Angela's school of study), and even an occasional exploration of lesbianhood. According to Angela, "Generally, I don't give a second thought to being a lesbian. I wake up next to a woman most mornings (when she doesn't fall asleep on the couch watching TV), but I'm pretty white bread American besides that. I'm ashamed to say that I rarely even attend 'gay pride' events in my town. Most of my friends are straight (although it hasn't always been that way), and I'm out to just about everyone I know."

On to number three...

Garden of Good Stuff

About a gay male couple in a monogamous relationship... the splash page features a collection of such resources as links to the International Guild of Gay Webmasters, The Male Abuse Survivors Webring, et. al.

In common with Angela, Larry and Kim have been together in a monogamous relationship for some time. While Angela and Maria have been together for seven years, Larry and Kim have been together for over 24. Larry and Kim met in their early twenties, and were living together soon after.

"Comments" is the actual title of this couple's journal, though it is written and maintained by Larry. It spans from February 1998 to the current, with an average of ten to fifteen entries per month. The first entry of Comments was actually what its title suggested -- comments. Only a day or two after, however, Larry decided to start up an online journal. All in all, it's pretty intimate in its detail:

"When I went shopping today, I bought an arrangement of Roses for Kim. They are not real ones, but the silk ones. Even though it's not Valentines yet, I thought he would appreciate it. He did, and we hugged and kissed when he got home. That's what love is all about."

Comments is also very frank, without much fluff or rhetoric about it. Entries include a description of Larry's (third?) kidney stone, commentary about gay diarists on the internet, and the daily activities and thoughts of both Larry and Kim. Larry also uses his journal as a podium from which to examine and proclaim his feelings about gay relationships.

"What upset me the most about Aaron's actions was not what he did but how he did it. It was not telling Mikey before he strayed. It sounds like I am trying to condemn Aaron for being promiscuous, but I was not. Unfortunately that is a part of our gay lifestyle."

Sadly (though not for them, of course) neither Larry or Kim seem to lean towards Buddhism, otherwise, we'd be three for three. Then, of course, the world would be a perfect place.

And last, but certainly not least, the gentleman who suggested this week's Oncommon, Ray Whiting.

Whiting's Writing's

"I spent the first 35-plus years of my life with a drive to be needed, to take care of others, to be all that I was meant to be plus everything everyone else expected of me, to out-perform, to out-shine, to out-everything the others around me. (This is a common need among gays, as with other minorities, who feel a need to be "better than" just to be considered equal.) It doesn't work! I finally learned that I don't want to be needed... but I need to be wanted."

Welcome to Whiting's Writings, by Ray Whiting -- "Free thought, Gay Issues, Daily Journal and More." Ray Whiting is a 43-year-old, proudly gay, divorced father of four, as well as an Ordained Minister in the Universal Life Church. Ray also has a Doctor of Philosophy in Religion and a Doctor of Religious Science, both through ULC, in addition to a Doctor of Metaphysics (from ULC as well). Ray is a self described "free thinker," who describes his religuous experience thusly:

"Most of the Christian leadership wants the masses to know what they believe... but they run in fear when folks start asking why. We were taught that questioning one's faith is pretty much considered a 'sin' -- that it was wrong to ask too many of the hard questions."

Ray has an entire year of entries posted for 1998 so far, though it's unclear whether he has additional years archived elsewhere. Ray's archives are arranged in 'calendars,' as is often done, and features almost daily writing. Go by here and check it out. If you liked this week's Oncommon, drop Ray a line thanking him for his suggestion. We already have.

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