I rarely tell people in my day to day life that I keep an online journal. And when I tell them that I do, the response is about the same. "Why do you do it?" (Either that, or it's, "Aren't journals supposed to be _private_?") I suppose it's hard for many people to conceive that there are those of us who don't mind spilling our heart and soul into an HTML file and posting it on the Web.

But for those who keep online journals, it seems to make perfect sense.

The reasons why people keep online journals vary, depending on the journaler. For me, it's a convenient release point, a place where I can speak my mind with little fear of ridicule or rebuttal. I also like to inspire people to think in ways that they may not think on a day to day basis, make them see the ordinary and sublime in a way that they never have before. The best online journals have that power--the power to provoke thought and to make the ordinary--well, out of the ordinary.

Enter the journals of Laurie Hopkins and Chris O'Leary, two journals which are perhaps undoubtedly legendary. They've been doing the online journaling thing far before I knew that online journals existed, and their experience shows through the way they are able to command both their words and their audience.

Here's a little taste of what they serve up:

Uhh, You're Scaring Me Silly
More Matter with Less Art

Anyway, I could've sworn he was hitting on me. I mean, I'm not an expert on flirtation, but it didn't seem as though it was unintentional. First, he rubbed his fingers down my back just as he was settling into his seat next to me in the press box. This made my spine tingle... something for which I was NOT prepared. Then, the rest of the crew got up and left the box, leaving just he and I, and the newspaper writers on the other side. He readjusted his seat, and decided to sit about two inches from me. He kept pushing his leg up against mine. I'd move my leg, and he'd move his. I couldn't move over to the right, because I was up against a couch. I wasn't going to tell him to move, though... he wasn't disturbing my stat-taking. What was I supposed to say? 'You're invading my personal space!' Yeah, that's _really_ something I would say.

What bothers me isn't the whole incident... but the reasons why he might have done it.

I don't recall another time when he and I have sat next to each other. He took advantage of this opportunity. This finally hit me in the third period, the last time he rubbed up against me as he left.

'He still thinks I'm _gay_,' I thought. 'Why does everyone still think that I'm gay? I'm not, dammit! Word got out that I _was_ gay so quickly... why can't word get out quickly that I'm _not_?'

Some background: A while back, Chris struggled with his sexuality. He experimented with homosexuality for a some time, but then reverted to heterosexuality. Here, he explains the effects of this change back on events in his life.

It's never easy to talk about topics such as sexual orientation, at least not out in the "big bad world." In a way, though, online journals have afforded those who write them the opportunity to discuss things that may not necessarily be comfortable topics. I have to commend Chris on being able to handle the topic maturely and objectively, without poking fun or stereotyping.

If only more people would...

Discount Satori
Zen and the Art of Psychoanalysis

Laura finished her written argument for culinary school that night. It spanned ten typewritten pages and had a bibliography. She seemed proud of it, so I didn't say anything. Despite going to bed satisfied, she couldn't sleep, and I awoke at eight-thirty this morning to her grumbling about how she didn't want to go to speech communication class.

'So don't go,' I said from my comfortable spot under the covers of my bed.

'I have to go,' Laura retorted. 'It's terrible to skip class.'

With this, she left, and my head hit the pillow again. I wanted to feel sorry for her, but I looked at the mess of dirty clothes she'd left all over the room and just couldn't.

That morning, though, she was Murphy's Law in an Old Navy windbreaker. When we met for lunch in the early afternoon, she told me of how it had started raining just as she'd left the dorm, and how the bus she'd been waiting for decided not to show up. She'd tried to purchase something with a check at the student center, but they only took cash. And to top it all of, she said, there was nothing good at the dining hall that day.

I was tired of telling her how sorry I was. The noise of the dining hall rose around us: the TVs showing the impeachment vote, the conversations of the students around us, the crash of a tray being dropped in one of the serving lines.

'There was this guy at the bookstore last night who told me to smile more and not take things so seriously,' I finally said.

'He should have come and talked to me,' Laura said.

'Look,' I said, laying my fork in my half-eaten salad, 'I know how you feel.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'Do you?'

Finding a good entry to sample from was extremely difficult in Laurie's case, but not because there was a lack of them. In fact, I'm inclined to say that _most_ of them are good entries. Laurie's site is perhaps the best-known and most-visited online journal, at least among teenage readers. It was one of the first online journals I ever came across, and it is definitely one of the best. She has amazing grasp of her thoughts and a style--often imitated, rarely duplicated--that expresses them perfectly.

So, for those people who think there's no sense in journaling online, they ought to look at these two sites and the countless others. Like me, I'm sure they'll be amazed at what they see, and more importantly, how they feel.

Original "ReEntry" concept by Gus () and other DIARY-L participants.