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DIARY-L FAQ: re there journals written under the influence of drugs? |
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From: James <jamesf@efn.org> Woo hoo, I am back for what may be an offending suggestion, or question, as it were. If it offends you, just filter out this subject title for future replies. I'm sure a lot of you will find this is in bad taste, but it is something that really interests me, and it is along the line of the question that Angela asked.. and it has been a while since I've stirred people up. Besides, this is a little different than the question I asked a year ago about this subject. Are there any journals which entries are *mostly* updated while the author is under the influence of behaviour altering chemicals, such as alcohol, LSD, or marijuana? I don't mean just from this list, or Open Pages journals.. but *any* journal anywhere online. I suppose, since a lot of narcotics are illegal, such a journal would be hard to find, but there must be a daring few out there somewhere. I'm looking for entries where the author was on something at the time of the entry. Anybody know of any? If so, it sounds like great material for another burb. From: Anita Rowland <anitar@halcyon.com> I wouldn't qualify for such a burb, but I did write one last fall after taking meds prescribed for recovery from a wisdom tooth extraction: http://www.halcyon.com/anitar/journal/110597.html I don't think you can really tell this one from other entries I've written, though. From: Danny McGuffin <mcguffin@mcguffin.org> Before my rehab days I had a journal that I wrote in after smoking marijuana all day long. The journals were actually nonsensical. The only thing I gained out of the experience of doing the drugs and the writing were little snipets out of my written journal that actually made me wonder about how life works. From a crystal meth POV, my journal was very paranoid, just everyone is looking at me, everyone is out to get me, the government is in control of my mind. Personally I am not condoning the use of drugs, but the one benefit out of all of those drug induced writings that I have on hand are that I looked at life in a way that was just totally different than the person that I have projected. Some of the writings are just ramblings that I cannot read, but some of the stuff is pretty cherry. Like someone entered my body and just started writing. A friend of mine says that Shrooms are the way to go if you're going to try it. Though I am in now way condoning this behavior. From: gus mueller <gus@spies.com> i've tried writing in my journal while stoned on pot, but it affected my short term memory such that i couldn't compose the complex sentences that i normally like to write in. (it's been shown that sentence length is related to span of short-term memory.) furthermore, i'd lose track of the paragraph's idea and have to go back and re-read it so often that it became a futile exercise. poetry, on the other hand, came easily with pot. but i'm not especially practiced as a poet. when painting, pot was more of a problem than a solution. ritalin would make me go on for hours with disconnected poetry or descriptive paragraphs, but it's not a good writer's drug. neither, i suspect, is cocaine, though i've never had cocaine. ritalin helps me as a painter. alcohol tends to make me reveal things inhibitions would normally block, and it's a pretty good writers drug. most writers are alcoholics and will tell you that when they quit drinking they quit writing. alcohol is good motivator for painting. dextromethorphan, the substance in cough syrup, my drug of choice, seems to open me up much like alcohol without impairing my sense of the bigger picture, though i often get kind of confused. it's best saved for personal email. i'm a great model but a lousy artist when on dextromethorphan (see http://www.spies.com/~gus/musings/mar97/02.htm#tussin ) caffeine is good for overcoming writer's block. if you write a sentence while on three cups of coffee, chances are good you'll keeep on going. it's also good for painting. hallucinogenics... no recent experience there, but would like to try some time. especially with native mushrooms. problem is, i'm always socializing while on hallucinogenics. snorting glue: good for when I was writing http://www.angelfire.com/va/nicekid/diary.html From: Lynda Bustilloz <cattybtch@3harpiesltd.com> wellll... if we're counting caffeine (and why not?), then *all* of mine are written while under the influence. From: eileen <thehermit@geocities.com> All the things I ever wrote stoned were at the very least disconnected. But that was before I started my journal, and at a very bad time in my life besides. Because of that, I think I could get some more positive results if I tried it now, but not positive enough to actually do it. It's more fun to go play complex music and turn on the tv on mute and fit them together. Besides which, I haven't smoked at all in a very long time.Actually, I should probably write about that sometime and get it out. You should go find Ja. I have done a couple entries tipsy, maybe one really drunk. I think that in a journal, where one must potentially be careful, it isn't the best of ideas. but I did like what I came up with for the most part. From: scott liles <scott_to_trot@email.msn.com> I'm often loaded on caffeine until my kidneys scream "Union", but then again I suspect most people are when they write at night. From: sarah <word@western.wave.ca> if caffeine counts then i think anti-depressants should too!! they make the world look really nifty...wow...almost normal....always make me inspired to write ;) From: James <jamesf@efn.org> > You should go find Ja. Is this an alternative god? > I have done a couple entries tipsy, maybe one really drunk. I think Oh, bah! It surely sucks when we all have to worry about what we enter. Even I am guilty of holding back on feelings.. but only when it is about another person. > It's more fun to go play complex music and turn on the tv on mute and Wow.. I just tried that 3 nights ago for the first time. But it did seem to be more entertaining being dizzy. I've never tried marijuana or anything harder than alcohol. From: scott liles <scott_to_trot@email.msn.com> I've always thought about trying Zoloft or Prozac, but I'm afraid I would like the change so much I'd never want to come off of them. I think I have an addictive personality. From: "A mob of angry bunnies =>(" <jgluck@primenet.com> Nooo... I avoid writing the diary while drink becasue of the distrubing candor I have after a few.... of coruse I suppose that defeeats the purpose of having a diary online if youre not going to be frank, eh? Nah it'd be more liek I dunno... I'm not the kinda person who could successfully pull off the "I had sex with somebody last night and here's what happened" kinda journal... And oh I jstu can't type worth a damn And no my crunkeneness has nothing to dowitht this thread that is it wasnt inspired by this thread in fact i just checked my male today or something or mail... yeah... just go to the next mail now bye From: IslandBoy <islandboy@friedtofu.com> I haven't smoked pot for quite some time but tonight I did some crystal meth but I had already written my journal entry. The unfortunate thing is is that most of what happened tonite, I really can't/shouldn't write about. The thing is is that I have a client who reads my journal and I don't want her to think of me as unprofessional/unreliable. From: Thrillcatz@AOL.COM Hello everyone, i'm new to this list and i can't really believe that you are all promoting drug use. I'm not going to get into a whole debate about it- but they are illegal. i think if you need something to help you write- maybe you have some deep problem expressing your feelings- and should trust yourself more, put the joint down, and follow your heart. From: Lynda Bustilloz <cattybtch@3harpiesltd.com> > i'm new to this list and i can't really believe that you are all promoting In the paraphrased words of Michael Jordan, we are journallers, not role models. Read journals - honest ones - and you'll be reading about a LOT of things that you may not find wise, moral, or legal (depends there, actually, on what the laws are in the location of the journaller). Talking about our lives is not 'promoting' anything, it's talking about it. > I'm not going to get into a whole debate about it- but they are illegal. i Some drugs are, in some locations, yes. This discussion has encompassed cough syrup, alcohol and caffeine, in addition to those that are more commonly made illegal. > think if you need something to help you write- maybe you have some deep How about you follow yours, and not determine that everyone else must live according to your heart's calling? If you have opinions on using drugs, or which should be legal, that is certainly legitimate fodder for your journal.... just as having other opinions is legitimate for others to express as well. From: Tony Tang <ttang@intergate.bc.ca> I don't think anyone explicitly promoted drug use. Nor did anyone implicitly promote drug use. In fact, I don't think anyone promoted drug use. Period. Take a chill pill, dude! From: Thrillcatz@aol.com and when some 16 year old who reads this list overdoses and dies you can be proud that your opinion was expressed.... From: Tony Tang <ttang@intergate.bc.ca> How would this necessarily be the case? We see drugs/alcohol/murder /death/etc., etc. all over the news, all over television, all over the newspapers. How is someone writing about his/her own experiences any different than these other forms of more tangible forms of media and expression? It is the cause, it is the cause... Or is it? Come on. Let's be honest here. Someone doing something is determined by a number of different and often multifaceted determinants. A set of messages in a ListServe isn't going to make a 16-year old OD. If a 16-year old OD's, and was subscribed to this listserve, then s/he was probably going to do it with or without diary-l. Chill pill, man. Chill pill. =) From: S Ross <sross@sssnet.com> Any 16 year old who overdoses simply because they read this list has problems to begin with and has nothing to do with diary-l. These people write, they express opinions, that's why they have journals and thats why this list exists. You will no doubt read a lot of things on this list you don't like and don't approve of. Get off your high horse, we are human, we do baaaaad things. You, of course, are perfect? Grow up, or get some help. My mother's favorite line when I was a kid: If your best friend jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too? It's amazing how smart she got..... From: Samantha Marcelo <halcyon423@hotmail.com> > I've always thought about trying Zoloft or Prozac, but I'm afraid I The changes aren't really major. It's not like you're bouncing around singing about sunshine and lollipops. You still get depressed. But w/the meds you handle it easier. You're such a doorknob, Scott! =) From: Vindictu@aol.com > i'm new to this list and i can't really believe that you are all promoting I don't think, at least from my own POV, that anyone was -glorifying- drug use. James merely made the comment that it happens and did we know where any journals were. That's relatively matter-of-fact to me. Traditionally, artists and writers have been prone to the use of chemicals in the creation process. Illegal or not, moral by your standards or not, it's a fact. Some of the world's best literature has been a result of drug use. So, before we all get on some sort of moral high ground and try to Convert The Masses to a chemical-free lifestyle, remember that it's neither your business nor your right to proselytize. From: Carli Schultz <carli@organic.com> my entries around DEc. 6 or 7th, 1997 were when I was trashed, the one after Dec. 5 th was after 2 days witrh a Duran Duran concert on each one, and parts were written after coming home from the first drunk out of my mind, having spent hours in a limosine on the way to and from the concert, and I was hyped up and babbling...... From: sarah <word@western.wave.ca> Well I don't know about anyone else but Prozac made me more hyper than any level of caffeine ever did. Didn't sleep for two weeks while I was on it. Zoloft is much more my speed. Mellow. Yeah you still get depressed but you handle it better and it's not so deep. I will probably never come off the Zoloft as I have always been clinically depressed and on this I feel "normal" for the first time in twenty years. People always feel uncomfortable if I tell them I'm on anti-depressants. This doesn't mean I'm suicidal, doesn't mean I'm ultra depressed all the time. This keeps me real and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. More people are on it than you'd think. From: Samantha Marcelo <halcyon423@hotmail.com> > and when some 16 year old who reads this list overdoses and dies you We didn't put the needle in her hand, baby. p.s. Replying to the original thread: I have done an entry while stoned, but deleted it later. I shouldn't. It was one of the best entries I've done. Ah well. From: Renee <kat@intrstar.net> > Any 16 year old who overdoses simply because they read this list has Sounds like the kind of crap that all those ummm people were saying about certain Rock and Roll Musicians such as Ozzy Osbourne. "Pick up the gun, shoot, shoot, shoot" my ass. People like to blame anything but the real problems on teen suicides. From: shell <shelly@sunflower.com> > Are there any journals which entries are *mostly* updated while the author very very many of my notes were written while i was stoned. which probably explains a lot of things. but unlike some folks, here and in rl, i Like what what i've done after i was unstoned. especially in terms of graphic/painting kind of schtuff. to me it seems to slow down my brain enough that i can grok quieter and deeper things. if that makes any sense. and i totally disagree with gus (yikes!) about alcohol. there are plenty of amazing writers who weren't always drunk. i hate being drunk. i think it turns the world thick, dull and stupid. not that i'm saying people who like to be drunk or wrong or bad or whatever, that's their scene not mine. i just mean to me. different strokes and all that. but there's my answer. and where *is* ja? he shouldn't miss this. From: Doug Franklin <nilknarf@networksplus.net> As an alcoholic, this thread is making me think. I like that in a thread. Anyhoo, I've been (mostly) dry for 15 years. I wrote a lot of stuff before I quit drinking, and I've written a lot since then. I did have a (slight) relapse a little over a year ago, and I wrote several entries when I was completely smashed, however. The only clue is that I confessed in my next sober entry... otherwise, I couldn't really tell the difference. There is a distinct change from the things that I wrote before I got sober, though, that I've noticed when I was reviewing some old stuff: It was uniformly depressing, and there was no real change in style or content from the time I got out of high school until I quit drinking. I was also abusing many other substances along the way, not just alcohol; alcohol was just the staple. I like me and my writing a lot more when I'm sober. Prozac. Without Prozac, I wouldn't be writing at all, but dead. From: Danny McGuffin <mcguffin@mcguffin.org> I respect the fact that you could share that Doug. I did the whole 6 month rehab thingy after getting booted out of college and have just stuck to alcohol on occassion, no drugs, been clean since January 18, 1995. A lot of the entries I wrote whiel under the influence were not that immpressive, though some of the thoughts caused me to write something while being sober. It is the worst thing in the world to relapse, luckily I have never done so. I would happily just give up writing journals and everything if I were told that I would never relapse. The writings at best were just ramblings of some drug crazed lunatic, feelings of being watched being controlled. I hated it because it started seeping into my real life and affected so much more than just my writing. One of my old friends said that I was like Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory when I was using. Toss my two cents in. From: S Ross <sross@sssnet.com> > I've always thought about trying Zoloft or Prozac, but I'm afraid I would I was always afraid I would NEED to be on one of them. As it turns out, Paxil (the third in the group for CD, anxiety etc) has been the best thing that ever happened to me. If this is addiction, I don't want to be "cured". With my head finally out of the fog, I can now learn to deal with all the garbage. Along the same lines... a question. How many believe confronting those who did damage to you in the past is needed to heal and recover? Just curious to find opinions that differe from my own. Personally, I feel confrontation of past hurts (abuse et al) is wasted energy. From: eileen <thehermit@geocities.com> > I've always thought about trying Zoloft or Prozac, but I'm afraid I would I'm scared of going on this type of drug for several reasons. Besides that I really don't want to be relying on anything outside me and am not convinced I need them at all, I think my attitude toward them is not constructive. I.e. my parents' attitude when trying to get me to take St John's Wort along with them, saying "It'll make you happy," is just creepy, seeming to regard it as a magic pill and not a tool. Which makes me think that it'll control me, like Ren's happy helmet. "Love to--do [whatever]---for Stimpy!" etc. And then I wouldn't be me as much anymore. Also then if I ever actually did get to the point where I was taking something, I might just expect it to fix me, which does not happen. Which is the thing: I'm going to have to have the will to fix it myself, whether that includes pills or whatever. |
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